George Clooney

George Clooney just had twins. I know this from standing in line at Shoppers Drug Mart. He also has a beautiful wife and a great career. I think a lot of people envy him. I do too but only for the fact that he gets to experience being a dad. As he will opportunity to embrace that beautiful thing called fatherhood. I hope he jumps all over it and enjoys every minute. I hope he doesn't let his assistant or nanny change their diapers all the time, and jumps in there and changes diapers, burps the baby and helps them fall asleep. These are all things that I miss. But not all the things as I think as I'm sure most dads think. It's that my child was special. Just like George Clooney is a legend on the big screen, Caius is a legend of love. Caius the legend.
I think of him just as much as I did the first day he left. It's in every moment of my life now. Including the happy ones. I laugh now and have fun but there is a limit to my laughter and fun. You know those people that fall down in laughter and sometimes take someone out in the process? That's not something that appeals to me anymore. It just feels wrong to let go. Without him around to either share in it or be the one making his Dad laugh, it just feels wrong. He made me fall down in laughter a lot .Whether it be his laughing making me laugh, his farts, his "hey", or the way he would get excited for things like his bee bowl. He was such a joy that people would often say 'Clint you look so happy'. That's when I'd take out my phone and show people his pictures or a video I took of him. I was so proud to be his Dad. By proud I mean there was a part of me that couldn't believe how awesome he was. He had an aura to him that you could almost touch. When he had colic, he would just take little breaks and look at you with utter love in his eyes. He wanted his parents to know he loved them. He could do that- he could look at someone and they could see his love. I just remember all the times people would see the baby and want to get a closer look and when they did, their faces would light up with astonishment. Almost to say, 'is that real?'. I don't think it was just that he was so cute. Even though that's what they would say: 'he is so cute' but they only said that because they couldn't find the words. He filled you up with love with just a look-  most of the time it was a smiley look unless he was pooping. By the way, I miss that too. I will never stop missing Caius. I am trying my best to be like him. Trying to keep the love in the air like Caius did. Wherever he was there was love in the air. If I could talk to him now I'd say, 'I love you so much ! I'm so proud of you!'. And that I'm trying to do what he did by bringing love into the air and to the people around him. I can't do it with just a look so I will stick to what I know makes people smile, like a funny saying on my t-shirt, Workout Wednesday videos, joking around in my spin class or bootcamp, and hugging more. Caius could fill you up with way more than all of that combined with just a look. So Caius is and always will be a legend in my eyes, the "legend of love". That's what I had as my first title for this story. It's a great title but what if George Clooney saw his name and read this then maybe he could see how a child can bring such happiness. Maybe it would teach him how blessed he is for his two, and even if they make him half as happy as Caius made me he would come to learn how lucky he is. If he did then I could say I was being like Caius. Bringing love to the world including George Clooney.

Thx Caius I miss you bud...I love you.

Hey I love you all now go be like Caius!

Clint