Reflections on reflections

Trimmed back the beard today. As the hair fell, I noticed a lot more grey has formed. Then I looked in the mirror and was shocked to see a tired, older face in the mirror. Looks like my eyes have aged two years in two weeks. I thought about how I used to think about my appearance and how things have changed so much. I used to struggle with vanity as I would always think I didn't look good enough. Whether it be body fat percentage, hair, tan or how stylish I was. No matter how hard I tried I wanted to look better. I used to compete in fitness competitions and worry about my look so much it became an obsession. Currently, I couldn't care less about how I look. My values have changed drastically to valuing energy, vitality and health. Looking in the mirror after flushing all the grey down toilet, I thought when did this change? Why am I not more unhappy with looking older? Did it change after Caius left us? I looked into that mirror hard for the answers. What came back was something special. We all have a physical traits we pass down to our children. In looking hard into the mirror I had to smile because the act became ridiculous so I smiled. That's when I saw Caius. He had my smile. The answers came flooding in like a wave. My values changed as I aged but drastically changed when Caius was born. He loved looking in the mirror but when he did, he thought he was looking at another person. And he just wanted to make that other person smile so he would smile . Reason why I know this is because he would smile at everyone! Grocery store, on a plane, walking down the street, I mean everyone! He must have known how this made people feel. One time a lady said, "well how can I not smile back when a cutie like that is smiling at me, that just turned my whole day around". So every time he looked in the mirror he thought he was seeing someone else to smile at. Super social guy hey? I wonder where he got that from. That's the way we all should look into the mirror. Like greeting a friend with a smile. So when it comes to me, I am regaining my strength, energy and vitality...it's coming. In turn my eyes won't look as tired and I will look fit. But I will never go back to that vain kid who thought that looks were everything. He is gone and replacing him is a fit, fun, friendly guy that is working hard to be like Caius. Caius never knew his Dad as that vain guy, he only knew Dad as the guy that would do fun active things with him because he is active and full of life. I know he loved that as he would tell me with a smile or a laugh. So when I look in the mirror now, I'm going to smile every time like Caius as when I see my smile I see his. And "hey!" Why don't you try it with me? The next time you look into the mirror, smile like you're smiling at a loved one. I guarantee that your smile will make you look better, and make you think about yourself with more positive thoughts about the way you look and the way you feel.

Love you all


Clint