Seven months

Today was a day to celebrate Caius' amazing little life. Caius Anderson was born on September 1, his due date- which made me happy because those who know his daddy know there was a chance he might arrive late. But really I was just so excited to meet him. We used to talk about what we thought he'd look like, be like...and he exceeded all our expectations. Big blue eyes, big juicy cheeks and a bigger personality. In the seven glorious months I got to be Caius' mom, I learned so much and received many gifts from him. Caius gave me the gift of being a mother- something I looked forward to my whole life. He taught me to be flexible and patient. He taught me that sometimes you need to forget about errands and laundry and just go splash in the tub for a bit. He taught me to slow down and enjoy the little things- how soft a dog is when you pet fur really slowly, how fun it is to make handprints in frosty windows, how liberating it is to make a mess splashing in the bath. Caius taught me I could make up a song about anything to make him laugh, and Caius loved to laugh. Caius was an energetic boy who loved to dance, stand, jump and squirm. He smiled at everyone he met, and if you didn't smile back you'd get a sharp "hey!". Caius loved playing in his "office", wrestling with his dad, going for walks, and listening to the owls in his swing. Caius was such a sweet boy. He was the love of my life, my world, my heart. Every day was a good day with my little buddy.

Now I could go on and on about all the 'firsts' we'll miss, but I'd rather celebrate what we did get to experience: Caius' first Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. His first plane ride, boat ride and road trip. His first swim, trip to the aquarium, trip to the zoo. His first teeth, his first tastes of food. The first time he smiled, belly laughed, sat up and rolled. Watching his first Oilers game with his dad, his first birthday party, his first swing at the park. The first time he felt snow, rain and sun on his face.

Caius was never a good napper, and he rarely wanted to sleep. Clint and I used to joke that he had FOMO- fear of missing out. Maybe he knew he was here for a good time, not a long time. I hope Caius knew how much we loved him as we told him constantly and showed him as often as we could. Caius was my right hand man, my little buddy, my little 'cheeky-cheeky'. I love him with my whole being, and I miss him so much it hurts.

Thank you to everyone for your kind words, hugs, flowers, meals, and comfort. Thank you so much for helping us celebrating Caius' life. His short time with us was not in vain. He gave us so much and I thank him for that. I love you son, and I will miss you every day. I can't carry you in my arms any more but I will carry you in my heart. Just as you lived in me for nine beautiful months, you will live inside me again. 💜

Chantal