Love and happiness

Two very different things when you begin to analyze them. I will use my love for my son for an example. From the moment he was born I loved him. He did nothing but be born for me to love him and it filled me with happiness. So in that way they are similar- love can bring you joy thus increase your happiness. Just like everyday I got to spend with him. He filled me up with love and happiness. Now here comes the 'but'. Now he is gone but do I love him any less? No way!! I may even love him more! As for happiness- at this point it isn't in the cards. As I find when I do get remotely happy about something, I crash back down when I'm reminded I can't hold him or make him laugh anymore. For example: we watched the Edmonton Oilers win game 5 in OT and I was with my family and we were happy as I have been an Oiler fan since I was very little. Afterwards I was reminded I couldn't share that happiness with my Caius. So I became sad. Here comes another 'but' ... But all that flux in happiness comes from ego. If I in turn practice what I preach when I say " Be like Caius ", I should appreciate the moment. Joy/happiness that Caius being around me is gone. But if I'm being like Caius I should bring love to others. I may not be happy now, maybe never will have the ability to be as happy as I was, but ( lots of buts ) I will always have his love and I can channel that love to make others happy. In turn Caius's love had a bigger purpose and that will make me very happy. How? By being like Caius I can bring joy. He would give all love with just a smile. So I will choose to go tell the cook at small bistro how he made a wonderful meal, I will tell my loved ones I love them, I make someone laugh while they are working out, I will hug more people when they need it, hold Chantal tighter, smile more to strangers and give all a piece of Caius as his love has no end. It was like a bottomless container of love for me to draw from, and happiness will one day be plentiful. So while love and happiness are not the same when they work together it's beautiful.

Btw for some reason the theme song of "Love and Marriage" was playing in my head while I was crywriting.

I love you all

Clint