The Pause
The Pause It is evening again and I am here with my thoughts. Around me are photos of you, my sweet boy, scattered around the room so you are smiling at us from all sides and corners while we move about our busy days. Gently urging us to slow down, and be patient with each other, and squeeze in another hug and "I love you" before the sun goes down and another day ends. Your big blue eyes are shining at us from behind framed glass, reminding me every day what true, all-encompassing love feels like. I miss you so much. To be honest my grief is just as intense as it was in the first seconds I experienced it. And although I know I shouldn't feel bad for saying that, sometimes I do. In the busyness of our days I don't always have the time to process it, which means it comes out at unexpected times. At work I cry in my car during my lunch break, or while I'm watching TV I have a sudden flood of memories that fills my head and blocks everything else out. I feel as though
